six things you KNOW if you go to uga

Happy Tuesday, and thank you for clicking on my next blog post. This one goes out to you, my dawgs, because you know these things all too well.

  1. Russell is the place to be

This is the place you all sat at your computer, refreshing the screen all day so that you could place your housing deposit 12 seconds after the application released to live in. Hundreds of freshman walked in the doors on move-in day to a brand new dorm. We all heard the disappointed sighs of friends who live in Creswell and Brumby only to realize that the showers would become just as moldy (also, freezing cold due to hot water issues) before syllabus week was over, the elevators trap people, the laundry room is a war zone, and the Russell market quickly used all of our paw points. Rumor has it that Brumby is next to be renovated… who will be the lucky students who get to live there?

2. Don’t try to get on the East West bus during class change.

I mean, unless you enjoy cramming onto a bus with 492 fellow students. If you do dare to step on, you will be haunted by the disappointed looks of students who have been waiting at the bus stop just to realize there’s no way another body can fit without the bus crumbling. Just don’t do it. Honestly, walking will get you there faster, and you won’t have to be a human domino as the bus driver slams on the brakes before crashing into 12 students walking in the middle of the street. Learning the bus routes is a blessing and a curse.

3. Rush week is absolutely wild.

Thousands of girls wake up at 4 AM Tuesday morning to run around to 19 houses in 95 degree heat, just to wake up again and do it for 6 more days. There’s blood on your feet from the Steve Madden platforms you thought were cute, but now you can only look at them with disgust due to the 12 blisters they created on just your left foot. There’s sweat from sprinting down Milledge Ave in August and your only relief is the battery-powered fan that the girl in front of you in line offers. There’s tears because chances are, you’ll be dropped from houses you thought were your future home. “Trust the process,” they say as you wake up morning after morning wondering if you really want to be in a sorority this bad. Don’t worry, though, Bid Day is a holiday here, & it makes the whole week worth it.

4. Clothes & the dorm plague get passed around like candy.

Go ahead and put the UGA Class of *insert graduation year here* Group Me on mute because by mid-October the only messages in the group will be people asking for a galaxy tube top to wear at their alien-themed social, a size seven pair of pink converse, or if anyone has seen America-themed head boppers. What’s yours becomes everyone’s, including germs. Buy twelve boxes of Emergen-C because when you hear that first cough or sneeze in your English class, you know the plague is coming for you next.

5. The Freshman Fifteen is so real, no thanks to the Bolton cookies.

I thought the Freshman Fifteen couldn’t touch me, but it turns out I was wrong. Bolton strategically places the dessert and cookie station right by the exit so that you HAVE to walk past it and you HAVE to grab 3 cookies on your way out because you have lost ALL willpower. But it’s fine because you have to walk up the Brumby hill to get home, and that burns all the calories, right? Right. As of November 11th, I’ve decided to go cold turkey on the cookies. It’s been 2 days. I’m going through withdrawals.

6. And some other things that are unwritten rules of UGA.

If you are lucky enough to find a study room at the MLC, DO NOT leave it. Ever. Do not leave your hair on the shower walls in the community bathrooms (or you’ll get threatening messages in your floor’s GroupMe). If your hotel room for frat beach is only supposed to fit 4 people, put at least 12 people in there. Someone can sleep in the bathtub. Game Day and Bid Day are the most important holidays of the year. Download the Uber, Vemno, and Insomnia Cookies app on your phone immediately upon arrival at UGA. And, lastly, you can never, ever say “Go Dawgs!” too many times.

Any student who’s been on campus for more than a week will quickly figure all of this out, and by the end of first semester, you’ll be an expert.

Love, ~E. And go dawgs.

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